Its share price sinking
At implausible speed,
Bear Company refocuses on
Its balance sheet.
Cut the rate of growth?
Cut the common stock?
Sell convertible preferred
To private firms?
Grumble?
Bear Company has never missed
A quarterly earnings target.
“We don’t have an earnings problem,”
Says the CEO. “We have a multiples problem.”
No one on the Street knows what he’s talking about
And they are suspicious
That Bear Company overpaid to
Acquire Big Budgie Financial,
A company whose granaries
Once burst with bonds, derivatives,
And collateralized hypothecations
Piled to the top of the cage.
Says the CEO, “Bear’s merits
Have been overlooked because
Of all these brokers spreading
One ridiculous rumor after another.”
Now bears darken the night, and by day they
Dance in the streets. Contrary to popular images,
Bears are timid and prefer to eat in the woods
Unless we put out honey-money.