Someone
claiming to be God
spoke to me
You don’t sound like God,
I said
I did not know you were such an expert on what
the Voice of God is supposed to sound like,
the voice countered
God would know
whether or not I was such an expert,
I parried
I do know,
the alleged Voice of God explained,
I was being sarcastic
I don’t think sarcasm is very Godlike,
I whined
I cannot think of anything more Godlike,
the voice cruelly laughed
Touché,
I sighed
I did not know you spoke French,
the Voice of God sneered
God should know
whether or not I speak French —
Oh wait, I get it,
I surrendered
and we both had a bit of a laugh
before the Voice of God moved on to listing
everything I was doing wrong.